


Renly and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Bad Day

by chai_lattes



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-24 22:44:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6169570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chai_lattes/pseuds/chai_lattes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Renly wanted was a bag of chips. How was he supposed to know he'd get stuck in the vending machine for hours and his rescuer was, unfortunately, drop dead gorgeous.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Renly and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Bad Day

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the “mY CHIPS WOULDN’T COME OUT THE VENDING MACHINE AND I GOT MAD AND TRIED TO GRAB IT BUT NOW MY HAND’S STUCK AND PLS STOP LAUGHING AT ME THIS IS V SERIOUS IM GOIG TO CRy” au i saw someone post on tumblr.

Renly stared at the ceiling, realizing that everything in his life was a giant mistake.  
He sighed forlornly and went to pull his phone from his pocket to check the time, when he remembered his phone was in his backpack, sitting at the table barely 10 feet away from him. If he had to guess, it was approximately 4 in the morning. It had been 3:30 last he checked, and he had no idea how long he’d been here, his hand stuck in the vending machine.   
To add insult to injury, Renly could feel the corner of the chip bag in his hand. This was fucking brilliant. What a great night. Even if he managed to finish his paper during by pulling an all-nighter, there was no way he’d be able to hand it in if he was trapped by a vending machine forever. And naturally, he got stuck in the quietest, most secluded corner of the library, where nobody ever ventured. He could scream for help, but this was still a library and that just felt wrong.   
Renly thought he recalled some movie where a guy was stuck under a rock and cut off his own arm with a pocketknife. Once again he reached around in his pocket. No knife, but he had a paperclip, so worst case scenario, he might be able to saw his hand off very slowly. On the bright side, he can’t write an essay with no hand. On the other hand, he didn’t think professor Lannister would give him an extension.  
Seemingly out of options that did not require self-amputation, Renly resigned himself to banging his head against the vending machine, hoping that either the dull noise would call someone over, or he could successfully concuss himself out of his misery.   
“Holy shit, are you okay?”  
Renly turned around, relief quickly vanishing when he looked into the face of his rescuer.   
Looking down at him with poorly-hidden amusement was the most beautiful man he had ever seen. The man’s skin practically glowed (even under the hideous fluorescent lights, which was just not fair), his curious blue eyes were framed by a head of dark, golden curls.  
Holy fuck.  
“Uh, yeah.” Renly sat up quickly and tried to act like he wasn’t drooling. “I just-”  
“Wait, are you stuck?” The beautiful stranger burst into laughter, which, Renly noted, made him look even more gorgeous.   
“No...okay maybe. Yes. Can you help?” At this point, his hero had dissolved into full on hysterical laughter. “It’s not as funny as it sounds, okay?”  
“Wait, wait,” Mystery Model said, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. “Before I get you out of there, what happened?”  
“I was writing an essay, I wanted chips, they got stuck, so I decided to pull them out.” Renly grumbled. “That’s when I got stuck. Quit laughing! It’s not funny!”  
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be laughing.” He said, attempting to subdue himself. “It’s just...how long have you been stuck here?”  
“I swear to god, just get me out of here.” Renly said, struggling against the jaws of the vending machine.  
“Well, I’m not so sure now.” Mystery Model’s bright eyes glinted. “What’s in it for me?”  
“Being a decent human being?” Renly tried. “Honor? Glory?”  
“How about coffee and your number?” He winked and Renly’s heart dropped into his stomach.   
“Um, yeah. That sounds great, actually.” Renly couldn’t help the grin that crept across his face. “Wait, like right after this? Is there anything open?”  
“Calm down, you’re still stuck in a vending machine. I’ll get you out, then let’s talk.” Renly’s rescuer said, kneeling down beside him and peering in the slot. “I’m Loras, by the way.”  
“Renly. Renly Baratheon.” He stammered, very aware of Loras’ thigh pressing up against his own.  
“Renly? I think you’re in a class with my sister. Margaery Tyrell? She’s mentioned you. She failed to mention that you were gorgeous.” Loras said nonchalantly, taking a pencil from his backpack.  
“That’s your sister?” Renly asked. Margaery Tyrell sat next to him in chemistry. She was funny, smart, and pretty, but her auburn hair and sly smirk did nothing to prepare him for this head of bouncy curls and perfect features. “You don’t look alike. Not that she isn’t pretty! And not that you aren’t pretty! I-I’m fucking this up, I’m sorry.”  
“No it’s okay.” Loras tried to act cool and flattered, but Renly caught the blush that spread across his face. “Margery says you’re her saving grace in that class. The only thing that stops her from standing up and punching Professor Baelish in the face.”  
“It’s much more amusing when she subtly humiliates him in front of the entire class.” Renly grinned, watching as Loras stuck his hand into the vending machine as well.  
“He keeps leering at her girlfriend, even I want to punch him for that.” Renly felt Loras’ hand brush his. “Now I’m pretty sure this will work. If not we’ll both be stuck.”  
That wouldn’t be so bad, Renly thought. He would gladly spend the night trapped in a vending machine if he could spend it with Loras. However, his sleep-deprived brain would find some way or another of fucking it up.   
“Got it!” Loras cried out triumphantly, and Renly’s hand suddenly fell to the floor, followed quickly by Loras and pencil.   
“My chips are still in there!” Renly said, slightly offended, rubbing his sore wrist.  
“After all that effort?” Loras sighed, but quickly grabbed Renly’s hand to keep it from reaching for his snack again. “No, Renly. Don’t you dare.”  
“I really wanted my fucking chips.” Renly whined, dropping his head onto Loras’ shoulder. Far from pulling away, Loras leaned his head against Renly’s.  
“Just out of curiosity, how long has it been since you last slept?”  
“Uh...” He racked his brain. How long has it been? He could have sworn he’d had to pull an all nighter last night, too. Or maybe he, Brienne, and Jamie were just getting drunk out of their minds. “Maybe 24 hours?”  
Loras lifted an eyebrow.   
“Okay maybe two days. Or three. Who the fuck knows. I needed to finish my paper.”  
“And is it finished?” Loras asked.  
“Fuck. No.” He groaned, and Loras rubbed his back sympathetically. “I still need a conclusion.”  
“Well, you should finish that.” Loras said, standing and pulling Renly to his feet. “Will caffiene help? And food?”  
“That would be heavenly. Only it’s four in the morning and I’m not using that fucking vending machine ever again.” Loras’ face fell, and Renly suddenly felt guilty.  
“That’s true. I guess I should leave you to your work-” The blonde said, turning to leave.   
“Wait, Loras-” Renly grabbed his arm. “How about I make some coffee at my place?”  
“What about your paper? I don’t want to distract you.” Loras said quickly, but then shut his mouth when he realized the implications of distracting Renly at his place.   
“Well,” Renly hesitated. On one hand, if he didn’t hand in this paper to his terrifying law professor, Tywin Lannister, he was dead. On the other hand, he was mostly finished, all he had to do was bullshit a conclusion. On a third hand, if he’d had one, Loras was the hottest guy that had happened to him, and he was not about to miss this opportunity. “Ah, fuck it. Of course you can come over. If you proofread part of my essay.”  
“Sounds like a deal.” Loras winked, grabbing Renly’s hand and pulling him through the library.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey fam, this is super short because it's the first fic I've written in a long ass time. This is also my first fic for the fandom so yay! Anyways, thanks for reading this disgustingly fluffy fic written out of still not being over renly's death.


End file.
